Curtin the Cunt

Well, fair play to good old Judge Curtin! And, while I'm in a congratulatory mood, might I offer my heartiest and warmliest of accolades to the legal system of the Irish Republic too!

There he is, after deftly avoiding the wrath of the legal system he thought was his own toy to play with by having his pals organise what is known as a "drive around" (this name was commonly given to the phenomenon which happened a lot in Northern Ireland when an RUC officer needed arresting for some corrupt act or another and the arresting agents would then drive around until the warrant ran out) so that his arrest warrant would run out and therefore rule as inadmissable all the the juicy evidence that he had gathered on his pc for his masturbatory enjoyment. But then, when the move was made to hold a full Oireachtas committee investigation, we all thought that we had the bastard cornered, but we didn't see this simple but fiendishly clever move coming; wait until the 11th hour and 59 minutes and then... just resign! Ha! Wonderful! How clever is that? No committee to face, asking you all sorts of awkward questions like "What the fuck are you doing with all those pornographic images of children?", just a lump sum of €51,000 and a pension of €119,000 per year. Oh, and what about the €500,000 legal bill? No problem; the Republic will pick up the tab there.

It's actually possible that Judge Curtin may be innocent of all the charges made against him. After all, there is no evidence available to support the idea that he used to love buying images of children for him to drool and wank over. But, let's face it, and in the words of a fictional character from "Blackadder goes Forth", he's as guilty as a puppy sitting next to a pile of pooh. Only, for the likes of Curtin, there will be no justice. Knowing the system as well as he does, he has managed to brazenly lead us on a merry dance, much like a fat overgrown nymph with a BabyBel, swinging through the trees above our heads, where he is joined by his legal brethern, who are equally ridiculously attired in their Brit-style wigs and gowns.

If you ever get a chance to attend a public court hearing in Ireland, you will feel a little bewildered as you strain to listen to what the dressed-up tossers up the front are actually saying to one another. Aferwards, while you're still wondering what all that was about, all the solicitors and barristers from all sides are meeting for a slap-up meal to round off a great day's business. To them, it's just a game. It's the way that they make money and that's all there is to it. The idea of justice is a notional one - it doesn't come into the order of things. It doesn't usually interfere with the business of the day.

As a judge, Curtin was a confirmed expert on the lucrativee fun and games that is the legal system. It's the old "us and them" syndrome, I'm afraid. In this case, it's us who are scratching our heads, going "How did he get away with that?" and "Why would he be so callous as to...?", while to them, it's all very logical and very normal; he operated within the law, he worked it to the best of his ability and, all things considered, and despite the personal problems he has faced and will continue to face, he has come out on top alright!