Rendition Admission

Well, this is brilliant, isn't it? According to the report by the specially-dreamed-up EU commission, most of the EU states were clearly aware of what was going on with the American goons going around abducting suspicious-looking people at random, tying them up, kicking the shit out of them, giving them a free but uncomfortable plane trip to somewhere more exotic but where even less questions are asked than in wealthy, civilised Europe, tortured some more, and finally killed or returned with a muttered apology - depending on whether or not the suspect would be sorely missed or whether the relatives or friends would have the wherewithal to complain about it.

Not only that, but the report also noted a distinct lack of cooperation from all the governments concerned, with the exception of Germany and Spain (who were both, paradoxically, two of Uncle Sam's biggest bitches in Europe, but Germany had one of their citizens abducted and tortured and the Spaniards have swung left and pulled out of the kill-everyone-in-Iraq campaign). Dermot Ahern - our foreign minister - was supposed to be "fuming" and "livid" about the report and he seemed particularly annoyed that the report was made public a couple of days earlier than he expected. I mean, doesn't that fact alone tell you something of the lack of morality under which this government operates? So, it was a few days earlier - that's good to know the facts sooner rather than later, isn't it? After fuming and whingeing, the miffed minister then took to "na-na na-na-na!" schoolyard politics, when he jumped on the fact that one alleged rendition flight landed in Knock. "More apparition than rendition" he peevishly pouted.

Bertie himself played the old "Well now, I'm a straight-talking honest man" card by claiming that he sat facing George Bush in the Oval Office, looked him in the eye and asked "Eehhh... George. You know that thing there where you ehhh... allegedly ehh.... choose people who look like they're going to murder a load of people and then ehh... take them away for questioning... or whatever - none of my business, mind! Well, you know that thing; they're calling it rendition or something...."
"Yup?"
"Well, I don't suppose you ever bring your ehh... guests through Irish airspace ... eh... Shannon airport, for example."
"Hell no!"
"Right. Well, ehh... dat's good enough for me, den. I don't tink we need to go bothering your people by searching the ehh... planes or anyting like dat -"
"Well, I'd sure appreciate if we didn't have to, uh... step down to those levels of mistrust. After all, we're all like family here, what with my great grand-uncle being a fan of John McCormack and all."
"Of course, of course! Ehh... how are the kids?"
"In rehab. But they're fine. You know kids - always manage to land on their feet; just like dogs."
"Yeh. Yeh. Heh-heh!"
"Well, I'd better git back to my schedule. That crazy world ain't gonna run itself, now is it?"
"No, no. Ok, then."
"There wasn't anything else you wanted me to ask, was there?"
"No... no there wasn't. Ehh... fair enough. I'd better go, too. Mustn't keep the Irish public waiting."
"Okay, then. Oh, and would it be too much to ask your people in Shannon to keep those Al-quaida protesters away. That last plane they broke cost us three million dollars."
"Of course. Ehh... no problem. Ehh... goodbye Lord Bush - eh.. I mean, Mister President."
"Bye, bye! Y'all come back now, hear?"

I know this because a diplomat friend of mine smuggled a tape recorder in his pocket when he was in the Oval Office with Bertie and Georgie.

The Americans really have the world in a vice-like grip of terror; work with us or we'll kill you, is the message, it seems. I must go to the jacks now.