The Town I don't love so well
Dunmanway is a town that I never particularly liked, and, since that incident at their municipal pool some months back (see "NOT a Pervert" blog), I've been festering an ever-deepening resentment and putrid hatred for the place and all of its inhabitants.
If you don't believe me, take a drive through it some time. Like a lot of places in Ireland these days, it has an inexplicably neat and sort-of invitingly clean facade about it. But that's just what it is; a facade. Catch the eyes of the locals as you drive through. Observe the twitching curtains. Observe the Deliverance-invoking eyeballing stares you get. It's a place where a new bridge has been widened or made (I can't remember which), yet 10 metres away, a crucial junction remains with its road unmarked for about 10 years now, so that only regular users of the road know that the main road to Bantry swings right and the road that appears to go straight on is, in fact, a more minor road that goes to their yokel-infested hotel and somewhere else after that. In Dunmanway, the boy racers drive about at speed in a completely unhindered fashion, driving as fast as they possibly can from one end of the town to the other to meet their fellow boy racers with whom they talk shite on their mobile phones without fear of fine or penalty points. It's a place where the Garda SÃochana (Irish for Keystone Cops) are even more invisible than they are in other Irish towns, because their superiors force them to live in a pigsty of a condemned building.
I may not be an oil painting myself, but then neither are any of the Dunmanwayans that I've seen. To say that they're all inbred might not necessarily be true, but I would reckon that about 98% of them are - and it's only the influx of Polish and Latvians that's keeping the statistics at a relatively respectable level.
If you still don't believe me, then go the swimming pool some Saturday morning and just observe how they park. Even though there's a large car park around the back, the Dunmanway fuckwits dump their cars along the entrance road. They don't even have the sense to park them parallel to the footpath; they plonk them perpendicular to the path to ensure that they make a proper job of blocking traffic. I tried glaring at a few of them yesterday but got only vacant inbred stares into space in return.
When you read accounts in the paper about civil wars, you often hear about atrocities where such-and-such a village was levelled and where such-and-such an ancient building was razed and a nice lawn established over it. And you think; "What sort of inhuman scum are they?!" But the truth is that they are perfectly human. I, for one, know exactly how these military commanders feel. Yesterday, for example, as I seethed driving slowly through a West-Cork town called Dunmanway, I found myself praying for a civil conflict; the only possible scenario, I think, where I could get away with bombing the shit out of Dunmanway and wiping the snot on the nose of humanity that it is off the face of West Cork.
If you don't believe me, take a drive through it some time. Like a lot of places in Ireland these days, it has an inexplicably neat and sort-of invitingly clean facade about it. But that's just what it is; a facade. Catch the eyes of the locals as you drive through. Observe the twitching curtains. Observe the Deliverance-invoking eyeballing stares you get. It's a place where a new bridge has been widened or made (I can't remember which), yet 10 metres away, a crucial junction remains with its road unmarked for about 10 years now, so that only regular users of the road know that the main road to Bantry swings right and the road that appears to go straight on is, in fact, a more minor road that goes to their yokel-infested hotel and somewhere else after that. In Dunmanway, the boy racers drive about at speed in a completely unhindered fashion, driving as fast as they possibly can from one end of the town to the other to meet their fellow boy racers with whom they talk shite on their mobile phones without fear of fine or penalty points. It's a place where the Garda SÃochana (Irish for Keystone Cops) are even more invisible than they are in other Irish towns, because their superiors force them to live in a pigsty of a condemned building.
I may not be an oil painting myself, but then neither are any of the Dunmanwayans that I've seen. To say that they're all inbred might not necessarily be true, but I would reckon that about 98% of them are - and it's only the influx of Polish and Latvians that's keeping the statistics at a relatively respectable level.
If you still don't believe me, then go the swimming pool some Saturday morning and just observe how they park. Even though there's a large car park around the back, the Dunmanway fuckwits dump their cars along the entrance road. They don't even have the sense to park them parallel to the footpath; they plonk them perpendicular to the path to ensure that they make a proper job of blocking traffic. I tried glaring at a few of them yesterday but got only vacant inbred stares into space in return.
When you read accounts in the paper about civil wars, you often hear about atrocities where such-and-such a village was levelled and where such-and-such an ancient building was razed and a nice lawn established over it. And you think; "What sort of inhuman scum are they?!" But the truth is that they are perfectly human. I, for one, know exactly how these military commanders feel. Yesterday, for example, as I seethed driving slowly through a West-Cork town called Dunmanway, I found myself praying for a civil conflict; the only possible scenario, I think, where I could get away with bombing the shit out of Dunmanway and wiping the snot on the nose of humanity that it is off the face of West Cork.
posted by MunsterMad at 1:28 AM
10 Comments:
I being a Dunmanway person born and bred was appaulled at your comments on our town. You obviously haven't lived here to experience what a superb community spirit is here. We are Dohenys and very proud to be one. If you were some kind of a beauty you could afford to comment on the people. You are so sad you have to wear shades to cover up.
Why do you use the pool in Dunmanway? Why not use the one where you live, that isn't the 'snot' of West Cork?
Off with you....and you obviously haven't a clue about geography.
what a wanker but i know no one in this town gives a shit what u think so do us all a favor and jump off a cliff ps up the dohenys
who the fuck the you think you are bad mouthing Dunmanway,if u were manly enough,you wuldn't hidee benhind your shades.......I am very very proud to be a Doheny,1 of the most important things in my life and bring so much joy to the town when we go on a good run in the football and the hurling,if you dont appreciate our pool,just stay the fuck away!!!and get a life,you are on here at 38yrs of age bad mouthing a town,some example to your kids...pray ta god they dont turn out like you anyway!!!!
You're a fucking asshole.
You claim you're not a pervert? Methinks he doth protest too much.
Keep the fuck out of our town you sicko and every other fucking town too for that matter. You are not civilised and are not fit for public consumption.
Fuck off and shut the fuck up.
i am a 39 year old professional. I moved to Dunmanway two years ago. I find the people of Dunmanway friendly and welcoming. My neighbours are worth their weight in gold. You stated in your rant that you pass through Dunmanway and clearly you are passing judgement on a town you dont even live in. Why anyone would bring a camcorder into a pool full of kids and not expect to be challenged is hilarious! I would suggest you spend less time ranting and more time getting your head out of your ass (mind the shades. You are very angry, bitter and resentful for a 38 year old. I would suggest you seek some professional help. It must be tough for your little ducklings to see daddy all upset for no good reason.
well, well, well, you say things to upset the Dunmanway people and there will be consequences! The photo of you in your pink tshirt and shades has been digitally enhanced and enlarged and we now know what you look like! Keep your eyes peeled and watch out for us at the poooooooooool smart ass!!!! BRING IT ON and leave the camcorder at home.
moved to Dunmanway last year. Its a breath of fresh air. One of the last few places in west cork that hasnt been overrun by shits buying holiday homes and driving around in their SUVS and the like. The pubs are what pubs should be like full of characters and conversation. I suppose you would prefer a pub packed with trendy people like yourself, where you can be seen and heard talking top class shite. Get real man, you are acting like a spoilt child. I cannot imagine a whole town being wrong. I suspect you would be unhappy and bitter where ever you end up. boo hoo poor bollox!
Well, I did wonder how long it would Dunmanwayans to react to this. I couldn't communicate with any of ye as ye all decided to remain anonymous, but one or two of the comments had fair points. The rest, such as "you wuldn't hidee benhind your shades..." (sic) and "Fuck off and shut the fuck up" just confirm my initial impression. By the way, the pool doesn't actually belong solely to the people of Dunmanway, but to the people of County Cork.
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